some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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