I think I won the penis lottery.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
