Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
