is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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