I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
