just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
