the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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