I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Still dying that you shit outside
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
