I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
