Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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