Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
