Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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