We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
