I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
