is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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