Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
