I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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