you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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