You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We talked him into tasing himself.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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