omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
