Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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