I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize