Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
