You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize