sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
