so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Girls should come with a carfax report
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
