remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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