Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
