I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
