how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
