There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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