I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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