He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I forgot how hot balto sounded
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
