My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
