Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I party with great urgency now.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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