Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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