so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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