Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize