It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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