i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
