cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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