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• (619): View more from California

  you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog

  (716): View more from New York

  do you not see the irony in that??

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• (917): View more from New York City

  so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  This is love.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.

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• (951): View more from California

  you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.

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