Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
