I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
