I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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