Don't you send me to vm
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
