Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
