Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
