You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
COCAINE IS GR8
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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