i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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