Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
