If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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