so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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