I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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