i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize