I must be too annoying 4 u.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
