Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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