I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
