Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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