Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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