Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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