if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
