Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I can't turn off my feet"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
