dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
