it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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