so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
