Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
