Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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